Thomas Kovacs
Software Engineer and Founder of personly and astateful
Looking back on Craigslist, it is clear that from the three categories of personals to choose from, "Strictly Platonic" has been the most misused category of them all. Join us as we tread into the murky waters of strictly platonic personals and discuss how these personals were misused in a way that helped people actually find what they were looking for.
Strictly platonic personals, in contrast to personals created for purposes of dating or for casual encounters, should be the one type of personal that is free from all burden of expectation. The alleviation of this burden brings relaxation to the meeting and the chance for those who participate in platonic meetings to begin a fruitful meaningful exchange of knowledge that can hopefully lead to the desired outcome, depending on what the purpose of the meeting was.
In theory anyway. We all know by now that in practice it was quite different. A problem with strictly platonic personals was that they were more often than not used as a way to score a meeting in the first place with the hopeful outcome that once a connection had been established that a romance or casual encounter could arise from it. But actually, isn't that how it is suppose to work in the end?
Connections in the real world typically start out as strictly platonic and then, depending on chemistry, develop into something more or something less. So is it disingenuous to say that I created a strictly platonic personal, we met and felt a great connection, and now I want something more out of it? What is the actual problem here? Do we mean that the meeting itself is strictly platonic, but not the outcome?
The problem is that most people just want to match. With the majority of personals on Craigslist having been geared towards dating and casual encounters, those who could afford to be a little more patient and understanding typically had a higher success rate when it came to actually meeting someone by approaching the meeting from a platonic vantage point, even if their ultimate intentions were not so obvious. There was a least a sense of decorum somewhere in the madness of the intense personals being created by the ultra aggressive types.
But the key takeaway here is the wanting to match. With a match there is a chance to at least reveal something of yourself that builds on the initial impression provided by the personal. Even a single sentence is enough to open up a world of possibilities. More matches also means more chances! So the objective here is to take away the intensity of wanting matches, much in the same way that strictly platonic personals use to do for Craigslist. A reduction of this intensity should in theory lead to better and more meaningful discussion that can develop into something more, or not.
People should be free to create whatever personal they want with whatever intensity they desire. Strictly platonic personals should be created with the intent to be strictly platonic. Personals should not be created with one intent all while being used for a different intent. In any case, people should be free to express themselves exactly how they want, and should have a chance to match and reveal just a bit more than the initial impression. They just need a platform to do so.
And with modern matching platforms placing so much emphasis on finding the perfect match, we are somehow back in the same situation as we were with Craigslist, namely the burden of expectation. Try out the personly platform today and simply be yourself without the burden of trying to make the best match possible by being someone you are not.